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Breaking news and special reports unit of USAfrica and USAfricaonline.com

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5 Comments

  1. 4

    Jummai Modu

    change we believe in and together we can make it work to stop VAW in Nigeria.

  2. 3

    Sollybabe2u

    this is an issue for all to fight.

  3. 2

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  4. 1

    Job

    Yours is a very important topic. You have chosen to address it in a biased manner, favouring the victims but ignoring the root cause of violence among Nigerian families in USA. The main reason is where a Nigerian wife learns and becomes americanized to a level that she ignores some essential aspects of Nigerian culture. Example is where she would decide that the money she makes at work will not be used by her husband anymore, even for the family good. Another is that of respect for the husband. Some suddenly see their husband as unworthy of them. Some may go as far as to incite their cjhildren against the husband. Remember, the men struggle so hard to bring their wives and children to America, only to end up being scorned and called domineering and abusive. Trully, some of the victims ask for what they get, as sad as the situation is. I dont condone violence of any kind in families and even unmarried partners. But lets be more objective while advising the public. Iam not insisting that Nigerians should remain dogmatic at their cultural inclinations. After all they have left Nigeria. But if I have a wife who is working as a Nurse for eg. and she has decided to hold her money while we have 3 children in schools, bills to pay, parents to send money to etc, now commmmmoooooon!

    Educate our people to keep the good aspects of our culture while in America.. I know some families are doing this very well. Why are others failing? Its because some partners are just greedy, and were not in love with their partners in the first place. Thats why they have embraced American sub-culture so quickly. Educate them to be mindful of how far they can provoke anger in their partners. All these can be done at meetings and privately as well.

    For you the writer, please be more balanced in your viewpoint next time.

    Cheers.

    1. 1.1

      Viewer

      This response is so similar to those Nigerian men who insist that domestic violence is wrong, unless a good-intentioned man wants to "correct" his wife. Violence against women is wrong. Period. There is no justification for it. And to suggest, as Job does, that the victim sometimes "asks for it" is to attempt to legitimize a dangerous rhetoric that victimizes the abuser.

      As for Nigerian women becoming too "Americanized", what specifically do you mean? Forgetting to bring food to the table on a tray? Failing to pick dirty underwear without a complaint? Not contributing money she makes at her job is the farthest thing from American culture. In fact, I find this to be a part of Nigerian culture more than anything else. It is understood in most American families that bills are to be split between the husband and wife.

      Most times, when I hear Nigerian men complain about "Americanized" women, it has to do with women realizing they are entitled to happy lives outside of being wives and mothers, and no longer have to wait on their husbands hand and foot.

      It will never be right for women to keep what they earn as pocket money while their families need extra income, but how many times have men kept money aside when their families are in need? Again, this is all wrong, but who would EVER suggest that a woman use physical violence as a last resort in that situation? I am certain I could justify that violent situation as well you attempt to do here, Job. The root cause of violence does not come from the abused, but the abuser.

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